It bugs me, that line about "speaking my truth" because usually what it really means is that the person saying it is getting a cathartic release stating how they feel about someone else. There's no skin in that game.
I recently saw Paula Poundstone at a show here in Des Moines at Hoyt Sherman, and she joked about that other popular phrase, "I'm just sayin." Again, there usually isn't much sacrifice or humility that comes attached to it tagged on the end of a sentence. "Your ass is big because you eat too much . . . I'm just sayin."
I recently read the article, Interior Motives by Martha Beck in the May 2012 issue of Oprah where Beck addresses the importance of being honest with oneself about their choices. Others will sense our personal dishonesty, and being dishonest with ourselves ultimately prevents us from realizing personal growth.
In our speaking and in our doing, admit our agenda to ourselves at least because it is good for the psyche and shows through to others. Many times I've told my children over the years, "At the end of the day don't lie to yourself or you're sunk."
But that said, when I open myself to being honest about my motives it can be painful. I tend to feel bad, feel unappreciated and jealous of others too.
Sharing stories and insights about oneself is something that is best done without a hidden agenda because then creativity can truly fly. You can want to leave a legacy, pass on life lessons and connect with others, but without addressing what may be the primary reason, your own interest in you, the process can cultivate insecurity. "I'm not interesting. Who really cares?"
Believe me, I get this. It is THE reason I've had a blog since 2007 and yet have blogged so little. I start reading some great blogs like The Bloggess, and I think, "I can't write,or Jen Menke and think I'm not funny. My life is B-O-R-ING.
But recently I've been knocked up side the head with new-found clarity. I'm as significant and insignificant as everyone else, and so the best gift I can give me while I'm breathing is the present of permission to share my thoughts and stories. Does anyone care? Maybe . . . hopefully . . . but ultimately I do and that's what matters. Gretchen Rubin of the Happiness Project says it wonderfully in her video about Pigeons of Discontent.
So, I speak for me to reveal me, knowing it will heal and help me come to terms with my humanity. Share your stories for you first, a gift that costs no money (unless you hire someone like me!) but is actually priceless,and let everything else parcel itself out.
Thanks to Elizabeth Welsh for the great photo of Shhh!