Storied Gifts

My Isabella Rossellini Moment

It’s turning out to be another stellar year for Smart Talk this 2010-2011 season. Each event features a high-profile woman who talks about her life experiences. I get to attend with my husband David who blogs about Smart Talk on Around Des Moines.

The evening of April 4, we met Isabella Rossellini and she shared stories of her remarkably grounded childhood leading up to her life now. The fact that it was charmed wasn’t so surprising, but that her parents (famous actress Ingrid Bergman and director Roberto Rossellini) provided a solid loving home life for her and her sister is noteworthy.

In recognition of their fame and the importance of preserving history, her family has donated all of Bergman’s memorabilia, including journals and letters without any edits, to a college. Rossellini expressed the importance of revealing the true woman not just the actress persona. (A concept near and dear to me as a personal historian)

Throughout her narrative, I was struck by Rossellini’s thoughtful approach toward all the things she does, not just her choices in work but also in considering the adoption of her son, as well as her charitable work training service dogs for the handicapped. In all these things she exuded a genuine sense of joy for learning and curiosity of others and the world around her.

My favorite takeaways included:

• On entrepreneurism and her experience with Manifesto: Companies that market to older women should in fact use models and spokespeople who are older. (Hello!! We don’t aspire to be younger again, just our best selves now)

• On Smarts: Be beautiful in the brain department. She convinced Lancome that she should know something about the perfume they launched called Tresor rather than just modeling for them (she was their model/spokesperson for 14 years). This was revolutionary for Lancome and the perfume ended up being one of their most successful.

• Beauty is not a pretty face but the expression of emotion. She shared a story of a famous photographer who wouldn’t take pictures of her when she posed; rather he waited for candid moments. From that she learned that modeling was more like acting.

• Let the creativity flow. We saw a couple of short pieces from the Green Porno series which detail the sex lives of animals starring Rossellini. They are hilarious.

I told my daughter, who is a photographer, about emoting for the camera and attempted my own Isabella Rossellini moment. (above)

Rossellini inspired with an evening of great stories and positive reminders . . . be creative, expressive, brainy and embrace the adventures of life.

 

Sassy Time with Anne Lamott

I was fortunate to hear Anne Lamott speak at the recent AViDevent (Authors Visiting in Des Moines) held at Hoyt Sherman Place on April 13, 2011.

Lamott is author of a dozen books, both fiction and non-fiction, that deal with the subjects of addiction, family and faith. Des Moines was her last stop on what has been a tour spanning several weeks to promote her latest book “Imperfect Birds.” 

When Lamott took to the stage, she confessed she was burnt out on reading excerpts from her novel. She preferred to speak to the questions she has received from audiences while on tour.

We got an update on her son, her almost 2-year-old grandson, and her continuing faith journey and life as a recovering alcoholic. Her energy, passion and humor for these topics were embraced by an audience that exuded their adoration for her.  

Lamott admitted she is opinionated with advice aplenty for everyone. During Q&A she gave a piece of it to Christopher Rossi, Director of Humanities Iowa, by scolding him for mumbling while reading audience questions. The moment made me squirm a bit as I considered my own life-long struggle with providing unsolicited opinions. (Yes I see the irony here)

Lamott discussed her faith experience with fervor and appreciation. Her liberal political views ignited as much enthusiasm from her as the subject of grace which she addressed at the end of Q&A.

Other Lamott insights included:

On writing: Do it. Make time for it every day and use paper for edits.

On Life:  Stop obsessing about small stuff because you “just don’t have that kind of time.”

On hair: Her dreadlocks have been around for something like fifteen years and she’ll most likely go to the grave with them.

I wish I was more of a “reader girl” as she dubbed herself, and could get to reading all of her books. But when she said it’s important to “just do it” in reference to writing, that made me think about how I help others accomplish the important work of preserving their life history. Together we get it done!

The thought also renewed in me to get moving and do the things I’ve decided I value because time is not an unlimited commodity. Lamott is bold and opinionated, but she speaks from her heart with words that will certainly linger in mine.

photo Brent Ward

Alarmist

It’s only taken 48 years to realize I’m an alarmist but I get that I am. I can feel it coming on too, that fast-paced breathing, the raised voice, and talking really fast. I’M IN CRISES MODE. Thank goodness it happens less often now that I’m older, but when I go to the "dark place" of thinking out eight steps ahead of what might happen . . . I freak.

My knee-jerk reaction, sad to say, is sort of that way in a crises. I immediately scream F*&$K (expletives release energy I find) and then repeat, repeat, repeat my thoughts to anyone and everyone within earshot before I rinse it out of my system.

Case in point yesterday, I write this reflective post on bliss, living in the moment and all that (which is generally true) and then find myself within a mini-crises.

• One daughter late for an appointment
• No juice or minutes on my cell phone (procrastinate)
• Other daughter trying to call me to remind me to take her to work but can’t.
• Son freaking out on cell phone call to me via other sister’s cell phone.
• I run screaming into store and abandon here there to gather other daughter.
• Rush other daughter to work. I speed, I mentally sputter, I feel crappy in the moment.

I’m headed to a “You’re Not So Broken” workshop to learn more about the Three Principles. Work in progress, always.

photo by zscream powered by flickr

No Control And It's Okay

We were thrust into the “Empty Nester” phase abruptly several years back but embraced it. Our daughter married young, our son headed off to Africa via the Peace Corps; both of them pigeonholed away in their lives largely out of our site and thus our worrying eyes. We reveled in doing whatever we wanted whenever it suited us.

At first this seemed like bliss, but I grappled with the prospect of becoming closed to taking chances living in fear of losing the quiet easier life, a settled existence.

Then the economy sank, we were job shifting, planning an altered future, building a business, going back to school, rethinking ourselves and what it means to be successful.

From there our daughter’s marriage ended (thankfully), our son and our South African daughter-in-law came to the states and are now building their savings and planning for their future. Remarkably all our adult children are back in the nest and it is just fine. They are doing what they need to and we help as we can. Our expectations have shifted and we're grateful in the present.

It’s cramped, we have to share and we live on a shoestring budget but when I ponder it all I feel fulfilled and happy to have these people around me. It is messy and intrusive for everyone, but it is also vibrant, busy and alive here. I am thankful we are together.

These days I see the less controlled life as shiny to the eye. When things are good I have learned to rejoice more. When they’re difficult I’ve altered my view to see adventure rather than adversity.  

 

Photo by Princess Toadie powered by flickr